Permulaan.

Bismillah.

Permulaan. Permulaan untuk segalanya. Permulaan yang memerlukan pengorbanan, kekuatan, kasih sayang, kesabaran, dan ketenangan. 

I can’t remember the actual date actually. All i can remember is my heart have been ripped away from my body. I can’t feel my blood. And speechless. The news changed everything in 360 darjah in my life. My beloved mother have been diagnosed with cervical CA stage 3. I cried alots after tau what is she suffering for. 

Dan dari situlah permulaan untuk segala-galanya bermula. I tried my best, Wallahi. Aku korbankan masa, aku korbankan segala-galanya. Just only to spend my precious time with her. If i could tell her how much i love her i bet she must be so proud to have me az her daughter in her life. 

She have done her operation before. Her condition a bit weak now. Jalan tak segagah dulu. Makan tak se-selera dulu. Gelak, tak semeriah dulu. She lost her spirits before. Aku tau suaah mama nak terima. Tapi aku tau dia tengah belajar redha. Redha dengan ujian Allah. Dan aku tau mama kuatkan semangat dia just for her family. Tambah pulak dah ada first cucu. Kenalah kuat kalau nak tengok cucu membesar. 

I need her. I need her so badly in my life. I wish she can read this. I am forever her lil girl who always need her mother to comfort her.  

Enough for tonight. In Shaa Allah kalau aku free esok aku tulis lagi. Pinta aku cuma satu, Kalau kalian membaca entri ni, tolong doakan kesejahteraan mak aku. Doakan dia kuat. Doakan dia sihat kembali macam dulu. Terima kasih. Doa ikhlas kalian hanya Tuhan yang mampu membalasnya. 

Aku beransur dulu.